By Boris Vene
Co-author of The Millionaire Mindset
It is often felt that, above everything else, success is hindered by a lack of intelligence.
But which person has the better chance of succeeding? The one with above average intelligence who is burdened with doubts and tries to tackle matters with hesitation - or the one with average intelligence who has a positive focus and is a "person of action?"
More than intelligence itself, your thoughts and patterns of thought are the decisive elements that guide your intelligence and lead to your success!
Research conducted in the United States shows that a "positive mind-set," rather than intelligence, is the most essential element of success.
Similar research at Harvard shows that students credited 85% of what they achieved to their mind-set and only 15% to their abilities, skills and innate talent.
Dr. Staples also wrote, in Think as a Winner, that Allan Cox, researching the leading men of the Fortune 500 companies in 1982, discovered that 94% of them believed that their success was a direct result of their mind-set.
In the same book, Charles Swindoll offers the following thought: "I'm sure that 10% of my life is the result of what happens to me and 90% depends on my reaction to those events." I can say with certainty this is true in my life, but I cannot say the same for yours. Why? Because your truth is the one you believe in! It has always been this way and always will be this way.
For example: Those who believe the bold statement above is true will think and say: "When I experience disappointment again, I'll understand it as a lesson and take whatever it has to teach me. If I am disappointed because I relied too heavily on or expected too much of someone, then I won't be mad at that person. On the contrary, I'll be glad I was taught a golden rule that will prevent future disappointments and it will be such a low price to pay for having my life appear in a different light. From this day forward, I know that I can only be angry with me, not others, because I allowed myself to be misled."
Those who don't believe the bold statement above is true will think and say: "No way! If you think that I am going to just forget that someone broke his promise and let me down, you are sadly mistaken! It's going to return to him for doing that to me - if there is no one else than I'll take care of it!"
Just think how the two people above will behave when a similar situation occurs in their lives or when they consider their own truths? The first experiences a small failure, simply because the matter didn't end as it should, or rather as he wanted it to. However, he remembers what he has promised himself and focuses on the positive things that can be learned from the situation. His disappointment is temporary and of short duration - he moves through the situation and is soon balanced and in a good mood. Besides, now he knows whom he can rely on in the future and up to what level.
The second experiences the same situation and becomes extremely agitated. He wonders why people do not regard him, as they should. He spreads his poison, "that nobody can be trusted these days," to everyone he meets. He refuses to help others because "they don't help me." He is in a bad mood for a few days or even weeks, even trying to protect others from the same misfortune by advising them not to have friends, etc. This situation has negatively permeated his entire psyche. When faced with a new, but similar situation, he responds in the same way, repeatedly.
He doesn't realize it, but because he believes it to be true, his subconscious now makes him seek out the very people that will only disappoint him when relied on and the situation repeats itself in an endless cycle. In the end, he is certain the world is evil and that people only look out for themselves (which is who "he" is now concerned with as well - himself) and finding a real friend is impossible to come by.
He frequents the corner bar, where he chats with acquaintances on how hard life is. In the morning, he awakens to what he sees as a cold, dark world filled with sadness and anxiety and ponders what horrible things will befall him on that day. His first thought, when the mail arrives or the telephone rings, is what disaster will he have to deal with next?
The only difference between these two examples was each person's reaction to their thoughts, to "their individual truths." How is intelligence connected with that?
It isn't. Edward DeBono, author of more than twenty books, founder "DeBono's School of Thinking" in New York as well as the concept of "lateral thinking," gives a good description of the connection between thoughts and lead intelligence and intellect itself: He says, "we can think about intellect as the horsepower in an engine - increasing the horsepower doesn't necessarily ensure peak performance of the engine." "If your ability to drive (thoughts) is good," says DeBono, "you can get the most out of the car. However, if it is bad, then more horsepower will not help.
In fact, the results are far better if a good driver drives a car with less horsepower than a bad driver driving a car with more horsepower …"
Of course, intellect is one of many advantages, but it has to be guided with positive thoughts. In his book, Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goldman wrote that emotional intelligence is far more important than a high IQ. People with highly developed emotional intelligence are able to recognize the impact that their emotions and the emotions of others have in any given situation. They also have the ability to self-motivate and the ability to manage their emotions in connection with others.
Emotional intelligence means a developed self-control, a feeling of responsibility for themselves and the ability to raise their trust level. Goldman discovered that people with average education and a high-level of emotional intelligence achieved better results at work than those who only had a high IQ. Besides, the IQ you were born with cannot be raised much - but the same is not true for emotional intelligence, which can be developed greatly throughout the years.
The importance of EQ over IQ is unquestionable and highlighted in the fact that most people prefer a person who understands and supports them emotionally over one who is "only" smart but inaccessible.
Success, in many things, will come easily to those who take the time and effort to develop their emotional intelligence!
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