By J.D. Fuentes
Creator of Sexual Key
You want sex with beautiful women.
So let’s get started; the clock is ticking.
Want to Get Someplace New, Fast? Start by Looking at a Map.
Why be one of the millions of men who’ve spent their lives thinking things like, “That girl liked me—how did I mess things up? What did I do wrong?”
If you really want to feel your seductive muscles beginning to bulge, if you really want to start feeling powerful—if you really want to see your seduction skills get bone-slicing sharp, so that you start seeing genuine sexual results, fast— then, for the next few minutes, you’ve got to put aside the gritty, sticky, haunting little details, and look up at the Big Picture.
The Big Picture, when it comes to seducing women, is the realization that women are profoundly different from men. Not just on the outside, but on the inside as well. Not just behaviorally, but cognitively. Not just because of social conditioning, but because of neurology. The brains of men and women are physically different in specific, measurable ways.
Putting aside the details for now, just remember that women seem different because they are different. And understanding exactly how they are different, understanding how they think, will give you a profound and permanent and ever-growing advantage over the men around you.
So: A woman perceives and thinks differently than you.
She inhabits a completely different subjective universe than you.
Actions that make perfect sense to you can seem irrelevant or off-putting to her.
Actions that seem ridiculous to you can be intoxicating and erotic to her.
Suppose you want to drive someplace new, someplace you’ve never been. Let’s call it, for convenience’s sake, the Land of Sexual Delight. Do you just hop in the car and hit the gas? Well, that might work—of course, you might be celebrating your 83rd birthday by the time you get there.
If you want to get there while you’re young-- soon— as fast as possible—starting right now, I suggest you start with a map, so you can plot out exactly how to get where you going.
The map of seduction you’re going to imagine now is actually a comparison of three perspectives: Telescopic, Face to Face, Microscopic. Or Macro, Iso, Micro. Or the Societal, the Dyadic, and the Personal. Each of these levels gives you a set of tools and distinctions for making women very horny very fast.
Operating with any one of these levels in mind gives you a big advantage over the guy next to you in a club or bar. Using them all gives you a huge advantage.
The Tribal Level: “It Takes a Village”
Women are social creatures. Really social creatures. Even the shy ones. Women, in relation to men, are physically weak and physically vulnerable. They rely on social bonds for safety, and create social bonds through emotionality and cunning.
Because women depend on social bonds, they are highly attuned to the opinions of those around them. Highly attuned, and highly susceptible. When you and a woman are part of a larger social grouping—if you and she are in a bar, for example—her opinion of you will be strongly influenced by the opinion of those around her. Trusting to collective wisdom, she will place a premium on others’ perceptions.
Her initial opinion of you will usually be outweighed by the combined opinion of the three friends she came to the bar with... or the four random people standing next to her.
Therefore, to get a hot girl to want you, get her not-so-hot friends to want you.
Get her to see how many people approve of you.
Show her how many people, male and female, you get along with.
Demonstrate the width and breadth of your social web. From her perspective, the wider your social web, the wider her social web will become, if she succeeds in winning you.
By winning you, every member of your social web will be transformed from a possible source of physical harm to a source of physical safety. The more people who seem to like you, the better and more valuable you must be. The more people who seem to like you, the safer—if she wins you—she will be.
You might think, “Well, sure—but what if I don’t know anyone there? What if I don’t have a social web?”
You create one.
And that, too, is easy.
Just memorize the six ancient and magical words of Instant Apparent Club Friendship: “How ya doin’?” and “Yeah, that’s cool.”
You just go around the room, making lots of superficial contacts, having lots of brief, empty, upbeat conversations. With an air of friendly, cheerful indifference, ask various people you don’t know, especially couples, “How ya’ doin?”
Shake hands, if it seems appropriate. Then nod, smile, say “Yeah, that’s cool.” And immediately leave to talk with someone else.
The idea is to make sure as many women as possible see you having apparently friendly conversations with as many people as possible. Each such apparently friendly interaction gives you social credit, in the eyes of female observers.
For women, social connection equates to social power.
By having lots of short, friendly conversations, you are demonstrating social power.
Which makes you attractive and desirable.
To get the girl you want—to make the girl want to get you— let her see you talking to people you don’t want.
By going through the room, casually talking to lots of people, you are marking territory. You become the master of ceremonies. The star. The main attraction. The place becomes your place; the revelers, your guests.
Don’t worry about “rejection”. Instead, treat every interaction as a successful interaction. Smile, nod—“That’s cool, dude.” Be blithe, serene, deliberately shallow, perfectly indifferent.
Act like a game show host—slick, smooth, seamless, nice-yet-detached. Be friendly, in a way that suggests you have no personal interest whatsoever. Hey, being nice to the customers is just part of your job—besides, you’re obviously in on The Real Party that will take place later in the Hidden VIP Lounge, so what do you care about what happens out on the floor, among the peasants and little people?
“How ya doin’?” Next.
Be friendly, precisely because you couldn’t care less.
Become attractive, by caring so little, that you aren’t even afraid of rejection.
Care so little, that you become everyone’s friendly acquaintance.
And by being everyone’s friendly, frictionless, non-adhesive, uncatchable acquaintance, become the emblem of that universal social acceptance which women so crave.
After you demonstrate that you’re a Man of the People, friend to all, presumably backed by the full force and credit of the community at large, pick a prominent spot, a spot with few or no other people, a spot from which you can be easily seen by the woman, or women, you want.
Challenge yourself to relax as much as you possibly can.
Stretch out.Get cat-in-the-sun, ball-scratchingly relaxed.
Sprawl your arms and legs, so they stick out from your body at wildly different angles.
Move the furniture, if it makes you more comfortable.
Roll your neck, if it makes you feel more comfortable.
Push your hands through your hair, if it makes you feel good.
Forget about the world around you.
Let yourself focus entirely on feeling really, really good.
Let your whole body send this signal: “I feel really, really good, and all I care about is my own pleasure, and I feel much more pleasure than you.”
Maybe you’ll be approached, maybe not. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you will be noticed. You will be remarked on. And what matters much more is that you actually gave yourself time to feel good and relax. Whatever else happens, doesn’t matter. You feel good, and that’s what matters.
The more pleasure and comfort you seem to feel—and the more pleasure and comfort you do feel—the more pleasure and comfort a woman will believe that you can make her feel.
More on this later.
At this point, you’ve worked the room, and you’ve cut a profile. The next step is to choose a target. If she’s in a group, approach and engage the other members of the group first. Make your target feel confused, neglected, and envious by disregarding her and chatting up her friends, male and female.
If you like, increase the pressure by leaving that group, and chatting with another.
Be seen with some other pretty girls.
Get in the habit of leading girls into silly, strange, childlike behavior in public. Do this by acting like a coach or yoga teacher… or a parody of a coach or yoga teacher. Just tell a girl what to do, in an insistent, stern, demanding (and subtly self-parodying) way. Make sure what you’re telling her to do is something public, rather than private. Persuading two or three girls to do something outlandish is often much easier than persuading one girl alone. Group activity reinforces their friendship with each other.
Give a girl an opportunity to be the center of attention. Allow her to deny responsibility for acting out this need for attention—do this, by playing ringmaster.
You see that wall over there? You, Cindy, stand behind Tatiana and take her hand. Tatiana, extend your other hand—palm up, dammit!—now place it in mine. You still see that wall? Good. Now we’re going to walk across the dance floor directly toward that wall. No stops, no looking in either direction. Now!
Go back to your target.
Now that she’s seen your ability to command attention— now that you’ve got the rock star halo— she’ll feel herself being subtly nudged toward you by millions of years of evolutionary heritage. Her body will be tingling, as all the billion cells of her body elbow each other and whisper to her: Hey, this guy can really kill woolly mammoths!
Thus, the Tribal, Societal model..
Remember, as you start exerting more and more group leadership, that it’s easy to become an authority figure, because humans are programmed to expect hierarchies to develop. The crowd waits for a chieftain to emerge. And one always does. (He needn’t be spectacular or exceptional—he just needs to speak loudly or stride forward boldly—this pretty much qualifies him for the job.) And when one does emerge, the crowd, as a whole, breathes a sigh of relief: At last, someone’s taking charge.
The Parental Level: “Cat and Mouse”
When you and she are alone, your job changes. Now you don’t need to show you can command the room, you need to show that you can control her. And you control her, paradoxically, by not needing to control her.
You control her by making her want to catch you.
You control her by not needing her.
You make her want to catch you by presupposing that she wants to catch you.
You make her want to catch you by explicitly, verbally stating—playfully, but as a fact— that she is the one chasing you.
She wants agreement, acceptance, approval.
Play “keep away” with these things, in the same way that a boy might hold his little sister’s doll out of her reach. Age regress her; infantilize her; make her feel like a child.
Give her some praise or approval; then, in the next breath, take it back. Criticize some other quality she has, or, even better, something she’s doing or failing to do.
Be the teasing, demanding, impossible-to-satisfy father figure—even if you and she are the same age.
As with the group leadership thing, the father-figure thing is a role. It’s an archetype etched in her ideational world. It’s a position waiting to be filled.
Don’t worry about your personal qualifications.
Just remember that she wants someone to play this role with her—to call her bluff, to knock her down to earth, to show that he sees where she’s messing up and has no qualms about letting her know.
And you have no qualms about letting her know, because you don’t care if she rejects you. Hey, she’s the one who’s chasing you, remember? And the world is filled with gorgeous women. Women prettier than she is. And they all want someone like you.
So you’re willing to tell her, “No.”
And the more you demonstrate that you’re not one of the spineless, drooling clowns mesmerized by her big glossy eyes and bone structure and facial symmetry and waist-to-chest ratio—the more you show you’re not a sucker—the more often that you can comfortably and enjoyably tell her, “No,” the sooner she’s going to be willing to ultimately say, “Yes.”
Frustrate her immediate, superficial desire for male subservience—her desire for guys to do what she wants them to--and by doing so, fulfill her deeper, more hidden desire for male supremacy—her desire for one, special man, one better than all the others, who is so strong and so sure of himself and so aware of his own value that she cannot control him and must instead admire and desire him. Your strategy at this level of interaction consists of ambiguity, rejection, unpredictability.
At this level of interaction, your magic words are “Maybe” and “No” and “I’ve changed my mind.”
Remember, this is a social role—she wants you, she wants someone, to do this.
You are not hurting her—you are tantalizing her.
She is not like a dog, eager for a straightforward game of fetch.
She is like a cat, eager for a game of “cat and mouse,” a game in which you offer her something she wants, wave it, make her want it, and then pull it away from her, so that she has to chase it down. And once she chases it down, you take it away from her again—because if you just let her have it, she’ll get bored with it. Take it away from her, so that she again has to chase, and the game becomes fun for her again.
In this case, the thing she wants, the valuable thing you show and then take away, is your attention, approval and affection—or, more simply, the valuable thing is you.
From her perspective, that you can say “No” to her means that you can say “No” to others. You are demonstrating your ability to protect her.
The “stronger” you are, the safer she feels.
Thus the parental, dyadic, one-to-one, I’m OK You’re Not OK, pimps up/hoes down model.
You might still be wondering, though: “Well, if I know a girl really likes me, then it’s easy to be a jerk… but if I’m just a jerk, and she doesn’t like me, what’s to keep her from just telling me off and walking away?”
There are two factors here: First, being cocky and self-assured makes you more interesting and attractive.
Second, you can use words to get her brain excited and sexually aroused.
That’s what we’re going to talk about next.
The Invisible Level: “Eternity in a Grain of Sand”
We’ve talked about using group pressure and social dynamics to make her feel that wanting you is the right thing to do.
We’ve talked about playing “cat and mouse” to make her feel that you are cagey enough to control a situation, and powerful enough to protect her.
Now we’re going to drill down to the next, most hidden level: Thoroughly understanding the rules that run her brain, that determine how she sees the world, that lead her to start feeling itchy and tingly and hot and eager.
These rules give you the tricks you need to start punching the hidden buttons in her brain, so can immediately get her increasingly fascinated and restless and sexually aroused.
When you understand how a woman’s brain works, the other pieces start snapping into place. A clear, simple, logical pattern emerges. You start to recognize, more and more easily, that women--their behaviors, their whims, their responses, their sexual hungers, their erotic pressure points--are completely logical and predictable.
Superficially, these things seem illogical—but that’s because you’re a man, and men and women have different mental and physical machinery.
The brains and nerves and organs of men and women operate differently. Compare PCs and Macs. Outwardly, they look pretty similar. But their internal physical components are different. And they run different programs.
When you understand the different programs, in a detailed way, you can do astonishing things with them.
A woman has a different set of mental programs than you do.
I’d say that she has a different set of metaphysics—a different of beliefs about the world—but that would make what we’re talking about sound hard, and it’s actually laughably easy. (Remember, a one year-old kid has a different set of metaphysics than you do; the kid believes everything comes from, and happens in relation to, mommy and daddy. You see things differently, and you know, among other things, that to get the results you want, you need to get the right information, and then take action.)
So you can gain an extraordinary advantage by operating on the invisible, metaphysical level— knowing and shaping how she sees the world and what warm, pleasurable feelings she’s beginning to sense tingling in her body.
Understand this: A woman has different beliefs than you about what is true and real and important, different psychological reactions to common concepts, different biological responses to external stimuli.
And, interestingly, she’s incredibly erotically sensitive to things you aren’t.
By doing certain simple things you ordinarily wouldn’t, you’ll see her face light up and glow; you’ll feel her becoming emotionally warm and open; you’ll hear the low, raw arousal in her voice and know you’ve crossed a threshold.
And she’s hungry. She hides it, but she’s hungry.
You know that ticking clock, the clock of time and opportunity passing you by? It ticks a lot louder for her than for you.
You can make yourself more and more attractive, either by learning how to turn women on or by acquiring wealth (or both!).
Her attractiveness, on the other hand, hits a peak early in life, and then swiftly and steadily declines.
The older she gets, the more her sexual value fades.
The older you get, the more (if you continue to invest in developing your skills) your sexual value can grow.
And it’s quick and easy to make your sexual value grow, when you understand that there’s a quirk to the female mind, and how it gets aroused. You don’t have to be good-looking or rich to meet and enjoy more and more beautiful women; you just have to understand how the female mind works.
When you finally understand how a woman’s mind works, you can easily and naturally and comfortably guide it where you want to go.
A woman’s mind moves like a sailboat.
A man’s mind moves like a car.
If you try to guide a woman as you would a man, you’ll end up bumping the sailboat pointlessly against the pier (how would that feel?)… or going in the wrong direction (seem familiar?)… or being left, not moving, going no place, dead in the water (know what I mean?).
A woman is erotically sensitive to language.
You can use words and ideas to turn her on. Not just any words or ideas—only the ones that slide into her brain’s natural (but hidden!) grooves. The grooves that, most of the time, are left untouched. Empty. Hungry. Unfulfilled.
Know how her brain works, and you’ll find your words filling her mental grooves. You’ll see her face flushing with appreciation.
Remember, her brain, like the rest of her body, is different from yours. It operates in different ways. It releases different chemicals. It processes data differently. It remembers events differently. It gets highly aroused by certain words and ideas.
So when you know what to say and how her brain works, you can take any concept at all and make it brush against the nerve-endings other men can’t see—the nerve-endings other men will likely die, never having really learned about, never having really benefited from. (If you have kids or are planning to have kids, this is the kind of information you really want to pass on, before they hit age 13.)
To start getting a handle on these differences—the differences from which all else springs, the differences that make everything else suddenly clear and simple and logical and easy—you can start watching lots of soap operas. Start watching talk shows aimed at women. Start reading women’s romance novels. Listen to women talk, when they feel really comfortable and relaxed, and when they think there are no men listening. Do this for a couple of weeks, until you truly know, for yourself, that women don’t just seem different—they actually are different. See for yourself that women live in a completely different subjective universe than yours. (Or, if you don’t want to waste all that time and energy, just take the shortcut.)
Remember that when you understand the rules of a woman’s mental universe, you can shape her universe. You can talk about anything, and make it fascinating,
intoxicating, erotic. Her brain becomes a machine you can use, just like a computer; her thoughts become things you can guide, just like a word processing program or a web browser.Remember that by understanding the internal, invisible, metaphysical level, you naturally come to understand the other levels.
And if you want to see the radically different but extremely simple rules of her universe specifically diagrammed and mapped out— if you want to easily and consistently be one step ahead of her, amazing her and dominating and thrilling her again and again with your penetrating insight into the needs she tries to hide and the needs she didn’t realize she had-- if you want to easily discover the exact words and concepts that slide right into the pleasure slots of her skull, so you can choose to turn a potentially boring conversation into something that she experiences as a titanically intense sexual event that makes her eager for more and more and more—if you want to hurry up and get to the Land of Sexual Delight, right now, just go here.
J.D. Fuentes, Copyright 2005