Engineers at the Massachussetts Institute of Technology have published results showing that tinfoil helmets, prized in many circles for an assumed capacity to resist mind control rays from aliens and governments, may actually amplify the controlling signals.
There's only one problem: The humour of the engineers is so deadpan, the findings are likely to be cited ad infinitum in conspiracy and UFO journals.
The abstract for the profusely illustrated study says:
"Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We theorize that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason."
The study contains recommendations for the construction of helmets that will work more efficiently as well as detailed results on the examination of three classic helmets, the Classical, the Fez, and the Centurion.
One finding, raising entirely new fields of speculation, is that certain frequencies enhanced by the helmets are in the hands of multi-national corporations.
The researchers did not, however, delve into the critical question of whether one should construct hats with the reflective side of the foil facing in or out.